| Logs |
2000-03-08
| Starfall |
| Realms |
Retired
| Reality Fault |
General Info
 |
Job Review
The afternoon slowly settles in, the Maidstone harbor busy around the Saucy Mare, which sits generally quiet. The first crew has gone on leave and no cargo is coming or going. A quiet moment to plan for the future, and take care of important things that are best not forgotten.
Carroll is standing on the main deck, talking to Jared about stores that are needed, making sure he has a complete inventory, and other normal business, when he sees Alex has finished her sword practice for the afternoon. He murrs to Jared, "Excuse me, I need to talk with Alex a bit." He half-turns away, then looks back and adds, "Interrupt if it's important, of course," and then heads over to his sister, ears and tail showing his apparent ease.
Jared murrs, "We'll get that ready, sir." He nods to Carroll's departure, and turns to find crew to help him check inventory.
Alex is wiping down with a cold, damp rag, still panting lightly... she looks up, her fur sleeked back with water, and grins, "Hiya, captain!"
Carroll smiles and asks, "Have you a moment? I've been meaning for some time to give you some feedback on how you've been doing as first mate, and I finally have a quiet moment."
Alex goes still for a moment, regarding Carroll thoughtfully... the only movement is the water beading and plinking off her fur to the deck under her booted feet. Then she takes a deep breath, nodding and straightening, "Certainly, captain." She rubs her towel briskly over her fur -- making it stand ridiculously on end 'til she smoothes it back down -- and he can see her demeanor get more formal, one small paw resting on the pommel of her heavy rapier. "After you, sir."
Carroll murrs to his sister, "Let's go to my cabin, I'd like a drink, and you might like sit down." He gestures towards the cabins, and murrs, "I'd like to start by saying how pleased I've been with how you've been doing." as he walks across the deck.
Alex brightens slightly, and says happily, "Oh! Um... thank you, captain!" She beams quietly for a few seconds, pattering along next to him, then adds, "Sure, I wouldn't mind a moment to catch my breath."
Carroll smiles, and murrs, "Yes, you did just finish your workout." As he reaches the cabin door, he murrs, "I haven't had to worry once that you weren't paying attention to what you needed to be." He opens the door, gesturing her in to the cabin, saying, "And, that's been a great help."
"I... well, um, thank you, Carroll, I'm glad I can help!" Alexandra patters in, still beaming happily. She curls up carefully on a wooden chair, not wanting to drip on any of his nice stuff.
When Carroll turns from closing the door, he finds that Alexandra is standing directly behind him. She tilts her head, looking up at him with an intense gaze... then she grins and gives him a quick, tight hug -- then quickly trots back to her former chair.
Alex looks quite pleased... almost proud.
Carroll's smile changes a bit, softening, less the public-display and more a genuine expression. He murrs, "For all of the strange situations we've found ourselves in, you've reacted very well." Opening cabinet that has drinks in it, he looks over and asks, "I hope wine will do for you, it's all that's in the room." He picks up the bottle, and a couple of mugs, and looks over to Alex to see if she has any objections.
Alex beams a tad more glowingly at that last comment... then waves a reassuring paw at his query and grins, "Oh, that's fine with me, thanks! I like it a little watered down right after practices as it is."
Carroll nods, and pours. Picking up the glasses, and offering the appropriate one to Alex, he murrs, "I've thought for a long time that you'd make a good sailor, and, someday, a good captain."
Alex turns slightly pink at the tips of her ears with pleasure as she accepts her mug... she doesn't quite squeak happily! Instead she tips her muzzle into her mug and drinks thirstily, giving herself a chance to recover her equilibrium... then sighs happily, looking up, "I sure hope so, Carroll... I really want to, you know! I'm crossing my fingers that Daddy will be impressed when we find him!"
Carroll moves to sit down on the edge of the bunk and leans against the wall, sighing a little... He murrs, "Don't worry about it, Alex. He won't keep you away from this any longer." He pauses to take a drink of his own, and adds, "I won't let him."
Alex pauses again, tilting her head to study Carroll intently... more quietly she says, "Thank you, Carroll. I... I admit, I'd been debating with myself how to handle it, and had tentatively decided to just tell him, like it was a fait accompli... tell him that was the way it was going to be. I just..." she pauses, thinking, then sighs softly, "I... I would feel horrible if he exploded at me, or if I was the cause of more fights in the family, you know? I think... I think that'd break my heart, if I inadvertently divided the family..." She's still for a moment, her eyes distant as she thinks... then she sighs again and takes another sip from her mug.
Carroll nods, and murrs, "He does care about you, Alex, if only he could stop treating you as his cute little baby girl." Spinning the wine around inside his glass, idly, he continues, "I don't think he's realized I can be just as hard headed. He would have been alone in his desire to keep you out of the business."
Alex smiles wryly, "Well... he didn't mind me being 'in the business'... as long as it wasn't on a ship, I think. But... while I like doing the numbers and trading stuff and the book-work and all... what I really wanted to try was crewing on a ship, just like you... and like Dimitri would have had he stayed... and I think Daddy knew that, just didn't want me out there." She shrugs slightly, still smiling wryly, "Maybe he thought it was too dangerous? Probably a good thing he didn't know some of the horseback riding pranks we used to pull..." She giggles softly at memories.
Alex grins more mischievously at Carroll, "You, hardheaded? Hmm... I would have used the word 'stubborn' myself... bad things just kept... happening 'til you got your way, mm?"
Carroll is about to say something. He then grins, and explains, "No, that's different, Alexandra, that's preparation and planning." He chuckles, and sets the mug down, and murrs, "So, you've done well, Alex. There is a question I'd like to ask you, though?"
Alex laughs! then grins, "Thanks again, Carroll. Sure, ask away!"
Carroll nods and pauses, choosing words carefully. "I'm told that the first sailing out of the eastern straits didn't go perfectly." murrs Carroll, slowly, "The crew corrected one of your commands a bit, as I hear it."
Alex stiffens, then straightens slowly, setting her mug carefully aside, "Yes... you heard correctly." Her voice is even, and she meets his gaze directly, even though she doesn't look happy.
Carroll murrs, softly, "Alex, relax, please. You did right. No officer is ever right all the time, especially in new and unknown situations. You were, to be honest, in over your head." He smirks, and adds, "You were actually in over /my/ head, if you want to know."
Carroll shakes his head, and finally asks, "What I wanted to know, is, why didn't you tell me?"
Alex frowns and says hotly, "I wasn't in over my head, Carroll, that's what was so bad about it! Horatio got scared and paused -- and I should have known what to do! -- but I wasted time being exasperated with Horatio, didn't think, and gave the wrong command!" She blinks, realizing what she's saying -- it's not usually good argumentation technique to point out one was an idiot -- then takes a breath and squares her shoulders, forging on, "I... I didn't tell you because I felt stupid, Carroll... I didn't want you to think I was an idiot. I made sure you knew who to thank, but... I didn't want to tell you why you should thank them for the passage."
Alex tucks her tail into her lap, staring at it unhappily as she smoothes the fur idly with her small paws.
Carroll murrs, "Alex, I promise, I know you're not an idiot. And, you did exactly the right things. Really, you did. You listened to your crew. You made sure to give credit where credit was due." He sips from his mug, and adds, "And, perhaps most important, you learned."
Alex's ears raise slightly from their previously dejected tilt, although she doesn't look up as she murmurs, "I... just wanted to be perfect..."
Carroll shrugs, "It was a perfect trip; I got to sleep through the night, we didn't have to repair the ship, you and the crew both learned how to work with each other. It says much more that you handled it so well, than any little mistake ever could."
Alex gives Carroll a slightly uncertain sideways glance, "You... think so?"
Carroll murrs, "I do. Ask Jared about why he was no longer working for Pravinchandra, and think about what happens to Captains who don't learn, or who dominate their crew." He looks at his glass, but doesn't sip. He looks back at you, and adds, "You don't have to be perfect for me, either, Alex. I certainly don't manage it."
Alex thinks about that one for a while... finally she takes a slow breath and nods, looking up at him again, even though she's still absently stroking her tail to reassure herself, "Okay. I... okay. I was just afraid... that you wouldn't want me as first mate any more if you knew, y'know? -but... I knew you'd find out eventually... so... I didn't know what to do. So... so I just kept on doing the best I could... I um..." She pauses, thinking again, then adds a little anxiously, "I really am trying my best, Carroll, you know that, right?"
Carroll nods. He murrs, "I can tell, Alex. I never expected anything less of you, and you haven't disappointed me, not a bit." He sips the last of his wine and sets the mug aside, murring, "As to not wanting you for first mate anymore, I don't know what you could do to make that happen. I've wanted to see you have the chance to succeed for some time now, and I'm very pleased to be able to be there for it, and proud of how you're doing."
Alex grins shyly, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees and her tail neatly tucked around her ankles. "Thanks, Carroll." She rests her chin on her knees, adding wryly, "Let's not find out what would cause you to change your mind, shall we?"
Carroll nods, murring, "Sounds good to me, Alex." Watching you, he smiles again, and murrs, "You can talk to me, Alex. I'm not going to bite, or think you're not worthwhile or anything."
Alex laughs! then grins mischievously, "You know I'd just bite you back, too!" Her ears tilt out as she thinks, even as she's still grinning to herself... then she nods, "Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you about, Carroll. How do you want to handle the royal levee? I've aired out all my dresses, by the way... I was thinking we should all go to the levee, and if we're invited to any other social gatherings by the other families... we should leave it up to Dimitri and Horatio as to whether they want to go or not. Does that make sense?"
Carroll hmms and leans back against the wall, pulling his own tail around in to his lap, idly running his fingers through its fur. He murrs, "For the Royals, perhaps we should all go. Other invitations, then, the two of us can handle."
Alex nods, "Unless they want to come along. Alternatively... hmm... do you have any idea what the political climate is like here? Would it be taken poorly if, say, I and Dimitri went to one family's party, and you and Horatio went to another?"
Carroll considers, still smoothing idly at his fur, trying to remember, actually looking up at the ceiling as he thinks. Finally, he says, "Ahh... I don't remember. I'll know better after the Royals, and I've had a chance to talk to people. I think their reaction to us will be important." He looks back at you, and adds, "I need to arrange a new cape by then, too. I have a lovely idea that lacks any subtlety at all."
Alex blinks, then grins wryly, "You? Lacking in subtlety? Tsk... losing your touch, big brother?" She giggles.
Carroll's eyes twinkle, and he murrs, "Well, depends on your definition of subtle. I was thinking that our new colors would make a lovely pattern, big as life, on the back of a cape."
Alex laughs! "Well... don't give the mongoose too much space... we are first and foremost St. Genevieve, after all -- Pravinchandra doesn't define us, we do!"
Carroll murrs, casually, "Oh, of course not." His grin widens a bit, and his ears cant mischievously as he says, "And wouldn't it be a crying shame if Pravin's flag happened to drag a bit and get a bit muddied?"
Alex gives a small snort of laughter, "I don't know what's funnier... you with a muddy edge to your cloak, or the mongoose's colors getting icky!" She pauses, then gets a faintly amused look, "By the way, Carroll... while I wouldn't want you to feel I'm trying to get more bennies for myself -- I'll earn my own, thanks -- I did think there was something you might want to consider, as far as talking in front of the crew? It's probably nothing... but in some ways our reputation is all we own, out here...?"
Carroll looks up and murrs, "Yes?"
Alex says, "Remember when Scout Teewith was on board, and I acted dizzy to keep him distracted until he left? And when he left I said you owed me, and you said I brought it on myself?"
Carroll nods.
Alex says, "Well... I was thinking. First, I'm not sure I should have said you owed me... I don't think it's wise to imply that someone's action can demand payment of us, especially now. However, I also think it wasn't wise to say I brought it on myself... because I'm not sure it's good to imply that if someone does go above and beyond the call of duty for us that it's just too bad, we won't consider that something that deserves reward. Um... does that make sense, I hope?"
Carroll thinks about it, resuming to run his fingers through his tail again. He murrs, "Both of those things do make sense. I don't think I would have ever thought of them on my own, but they do make sense."
Alex nods, "Okay. It's just something Nanny taught me, as far as thinking about what effects on your reputation your words have." She grins teasingly at Carroll, "It's a girl thang!"
Carroll shrugs and murrs, "And a Count thing. I should have thought of it, myself. I'll have to be more careful."
Alex smiles, looking faintly relieved, "Okay. I just... thought maybe I should mention it... but I didn't want to be a bother."
Carroll shakes his head, murring, "You'd never be a bother, Alex. I need feedback; how can I ever improve if everyone's afraid to tell me what they think?" He sighs, and adds, "I wish I were better at your easy comfort with people."
Alex blinks, her ears perking up in startlement as she grins at him, "Uh... what? My what with people?!"
Alex laughs softly, "Only with the folks I actually like, I'm afraid! I'm awful with scatterbrained girls and brainless boys!"
Carroll ums, and murrs, "That's a useless description, isn't it?" At her later comment he murrs, "Even with them, they don't seem afraid or unwilling to relax around you." He picks at a bit of shed tail fur on his jacket and murrs, "I so often think I've managed to scare everyone off."
Alex snorts amusedly, "Believe me I wish they did feel afraid to relax around me -- so often they either gossip behind my back maliciously, or expect me to titter appreciatively at the most inane garbage that comes out of their mouths!"
Alex tilts her ears forward in sudden curiosity, "What do you mean, Carroll, when you say scaring them off?"
Carroll replies, "Oh, I get that too, although there's less tittering in general, I expect." He looks at you, and murrs, "I don't know. I guess it's that I don't feel like people are at ease around me. There's a lot of properness and respect, but, that gets old."
Alex leans her chin thoughtfully on her knees again, looking intensely curious, "Wait... you mean you don't like properness and respect? Am I understanding you correctly? Don't you sort of expect that... as Daddy's heir?"
Carroll replies. "Yes, properness and respect is a good thing, and there's times and places it's critical." He fehs, and then says, "I'm not explaining myself well, I fear."
Carroll murrs, "I don't know. I shouldn't complain, I suppose, because I do want to be respected, but not at the expense of, for lack of a better word, closeness." He shrugs, and murrs, "I'll think about it, and see if I can explain myself better."
Alex smiles a little puzzledly, "Okay, Carroll. Um... well, if you want to talk about it further, I'd be happy to listen?"
Carroll smiles, and murrs, "I'll think about it some more." He picks up his empty glass, and adds, "You're doing very well, Alex. Keep at it. If there's anything I can do to help, please, ask."
Alex stands up, absently brushing her disheveled fur back from her face with a lack of concern that probably makes the more perfectly coifed Carroll want to wince slightly! and grins, "You got it! and same for you too, of course." She grins, making a sketchy salute, "To a swift and total conquering of the royal levee by the St. Genevieve siblings!" She laughs, waves, and patters happily out.