| Logs |
2000-06-10
| Starfall |
| Realms |
Retired
| Reality Fault |
General Info
 |
Heart to Heart
- It's midmorning on the deck of the Saucy Mare, the sun
is shining, and fighter practice is over. Dimitri sits in his usual spot
on the quarterdeck stairs, waiting for his little sister. She's overhead,
practicing her acrobatics in the rigging, but staying carefully out of
the way of the sails and anyone on duty. She finishes, tossing herself
out of the rigging in an airy flip that lands her lightly on the deck,
then bouncing cheerfully over the quarterdeck stairs' railing to alight
behind her favorite brother. She grins, panting slightly, and throws her
arms loosely around his strong shoulders and neck, resting her chin on
his shoulder near one dark-furred ear.
As Alex's panting slows and stops she grins quietly, watching the same things he is, then whispers for his ears only, "She's very nice... but confusing, huh?"
Dimitri blinks, looking back at Alex, his ears twitching. His head shakes as he looks back over the practicing furrs finishing their morning workout. Her brother is obviously oblivious, his gaze focused on his duties. "Her? Confused?" He nods to Jesse as the mink picks up her sword from the deck again. "Just young. She keeps trying to use strength against the bigger furrs when she starts getting tired, that's all."
Alex giggles softly, then slides over and past him easily, "Right, silly Mitya." She grins, taking his paw and tugging, "C'mon... time to go rest, right? We can talk in our cabin!"
Dimitri shakes his head and follows, "Alex... what's this all about?" But he does let himself be led.
Alex grins over her shoulder at her favorite brother as she trots towards their cabin. Once inside she makes sure the door is firmly closed, then starts getting ready for bed. She grins at Dimitri cheerfully, "Not Jesse, silly... Natasha. You stare sometimes, Mitya, did you know?"
Dimitri closes his eyes at Natasha's name. Then he turns and shrugs, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, his ears drooped and tail flat. He gets ready to sleep, "I know." He shrugs again, "But it's fine. And understandable."
Alex looks puzzled, "Why're you so depressed looking, Mitya? I think she's nice!"
Dimitri nods quietly. "She is. Very."
Alex settles behind him when he sits on the edge of the bed, not letting Dimitri lay back, and rubs his shoulders firmly. She gently nudges a flattened ear with her nose as she does so, then murmurs, "C'mon, talk to me, Mitya... what's wrong?"
Dimitri closes his eyes, gently khhhring at the touch of her muzzle. Then he shakes his head hard, his campaign rings jingling. "It's... understandable. One like Natasha, well, she knows what... no... who she wants, and when." He turns, quiet, nodding back to Alex. "It's fine, bratling. But thank you for being concerned."
Alex grins quietly, not stopping her shoulder rub. Her tone is affectionate as she says, almost nose to nose with him when he turns to look at her, "Now who taught me that something worth doing was worth working at, mm?"
Dimitri softly growls, "I don't understand, Alex." The black fox shrugs, quiet. "I also taught you to respect others' feelings, even if they do end up cutting you."
Alex smiles, tilting her head, "Mitya... do you fancy Natasha or no? If you don't, then you might want to stop watching her quite so intensely on occasion... but if you do, are you really surprised she's so carefully being a professional on the ship? And if you do, have you considered maybe asking her if you could court her later, when you're not her superior officer? Or even just... just..." she pauses, thinking, then grins exuberantly, "Or asking me to ask her how she feels?"
Dimitri looks down, quiet. "I don't know, Alex. It'd be fine if she liked me back. I'm beginning to think that festival was a fluke; this fox a wolf's prey for but a night." He closes his eyes tight, as if the memory actually really did hurt. "I mean... I had to drag her onto the landing party... and when in Ettore and Maidstone it was like having to order her to accompany... and that's not right. It's not having to have to ask, Alex..." He shrugs again. "If it's obvious."
Alex loops her arms loosely around Dimitri's neck again, resting her chin on his shoulder and thinking. "Well... why not try looking at it from her point of view, Mitya? You are her commanding officer... think how badly she'd be thought of if she did let you know she was interested. Even if it wasn't true folks would whisper behind her back and yours that she was trying to sleep her way to the top- don't flatten your ears at me, Mitya, you know how people are!" Her smile is rueful, "They were bad enough whispering behind my back about how bad I was at being a girl... so I can't blame Natasha for being wary. Can you, really?"
Dimitri nods quietly. "I know. But even when we were at port?"
Alex smiles affectionately at her brother, nudging one ear lightly with her nose again, "Are you ever really off duty, Mitya? You know how you are... you're always watching around you, sizing people and places up... when should she come talk to you, hmm? When are you free?" She grins irrepressibly again, her tone going coaxing, "On the other hand, if you just happened to have a little sister who just happened to pass a note to her while we were off duty in Maidstone... well, just maybe there might be a note to pass back to you later, mmm?" She giggles cheerfully, adding, "I think that'd be neat!"
Dimitri blinks quietly, listening to Alex talk. Just the sound of her voice soothes him as he slowly leans back against her. "Natasha... " he slowly whispers. "I... wouldn't know what to say. And I am not always on duty. I do relax. Sometimes. Usually at night, watching the ship sail beneath the stars. Cor."
Alex smiles, rubbing her chin lightly against him, "At night, Mitya? When it's nightwatch and you're out there keeping an eye out, and she's asleep?" She chuckles softly, "Cor indeed... that's no time for chatting, with a sharp-eared bat flitting overhead, don'tcha think, Mitya?"
Dimitri shakes his head again, quiet. "Why should it be a problem? They don't think you get it easy because you're my sister, do you? Or question why you and not MacKenzie fight at my side. Or why you are first mate with no previous experience?"
Alex blinks, then tilts one quizzical ear, grins, and says, "You lost me there, Mitya... what are you referring to, please?"
Dimitri stops then, quiet. "But the real question is different, Alex."
Alex nods and says encouragingly, "Okay... what is it then, Mitya?"
Dimitri softly growls, "Why should her talking with me be any different than you holding your position on the ship? But that's not the real issue. As far as I can tell, I'm not sure she cares in the first place any more. And without that, I do not want to force myself where I am not wanted." He shakes his head and whispers quietly, "Besides, I don't even know what I'm going to do..."
Alex says, "Oh!" She nods, understanding now, "I got it. Um... well, you know that, Mitya - it's different for me because I'm your sister!" She grins, adding mischievously, "I already know you care about me, but think about it, Mitya -- she may be as unsure of how you feel about her as you are about how she feels about you, y'know!"
Dimitri blinks, "But she... oh, cor." He just leans forward, his elbows on the bunk. "What if I don't know. What if after so many days on ship, so close and far apart, it's soured. I know I like her. But without even a smile from her, even on the quiet, just work and practice and responsibilities, I don't even know her. Or more importantly, that she even wants to change the way things are. If she's quiet, it must be what she wants." He chuffs out a breath. "Not even to mention the confusion over my other lady problems."
Alex lets herself get drawn forward as Dimitri leans forward, so she's lazily half-sprawled across him, her arms still looped around him and her chin still resting on his shoulder. She smiles quietly, "Yes, Mitya... a soldier. Like her. And if you've not seen her smile at you sometimes, quiet and close-looking, then... you're not watching, dear brother mine." She giggles softly, then whispers teasingly, "Well, if you're not going to send Natasha something so she knows how you feel, or ask her how she feels..." she sighs melodramatically, then adds, "I guess I'll just have to do it for you, mm?"
Dimitri smiles quietly, reaching back to ruffle her ear. "I don't deserve a sister like you. And even if I said no that wouldn't stop you, would it?"
Alex giggles cheerfully, "Nope! So... what d'you want me to say? Or would you rather I take a note to her?"
Dimitri shrugs, quiet. "Truth. I don't know."
Alex nods thoughtfully, still comfortably flopped across her brother, "Well... okay, let's take it one step at a time." She holds up one small paw in front of his face, putting up a finger, "One -- d'you like her?"
Dimitri lets out a soft sigh. "I guess I'd just like to know how she feels... or a chance to really get to know who she is." He blinks quietly. "Yes, I do. I was really flattered at the festival."
Alex nods happily, "Okay, that's good! Then two, you want to know how she feels, and three, you'd like to get to know her, right? So, hmm... how to say that..." She falls silent for a bit, thinking hard. "Hmm... is there anything you know she likes? Or... do you ever read poetry, Mitya? Or prose? Sometimes using someone else's words works really well for saying what's in your heart?"
Dimitri falls the rest of the way over on the bunk, listening, a silent fox... then adds, "No, Alex. That's the problem. I know nothing about her."
Alex yips lightly as she's suddenly pulled over -- then laughs, and curls up companionably close behind her favorite brother. "Well... hmm. Have you ever given her anything? and if so, what was her reaction, d'you recall?"
Dimitri shakes his head, "No. Nothing. I'm a stupid fox, I guess."
Alex grins and cheerfully *snaps* her teeth next to Dimitri's closest ear, then says firmly, "Oh stop that, Mitya, you know that's not true! Hmm... okay, let me think..."
Dimitri's ear flickers at her snap of her teeth, and he just shakes his head. "Well, it's true. And I don't know... just some holly at the Festival, but that seems like it is now forever away."
Alex brightens, bouncing up to lean on top of him with cheerful disregard for the niceties of not accidentally knocking the air out of her brother -- whom she doesn't think she can do that to anyway -- "Oh, that's perfect, Mitya! You're a genius! Holly, why didn't I think of that!" She beams, flopping across Dimitri's chest, their noses almost touching, and adds admiringly, "Nice symbology too... beautiful and brilliant colors that glow most in the winter -- but also sharp and hurtful if you're careless!" She nods firmly, resting her elbows on Dimitri's chest and her chin in her small paws, "Okay then! So... how's this? We'll have you write a short note that I'll pass to her, asking her if she liked the holly you gave her at the Solstice dance... and if she'd like any more, or if she'd prefer you keep your distance?" She beams cheerfully at her brother, "How's that?"
Dimitri leans up and does brush his muzzle to hers, his eyes closing. And no, his breath isn't knocked out. "I... guess?" And then he blinks. "We'll have me write a note?? I don't even know how she feels first."
Alex laughs happily, "It's okay, Mitya! You do passable calligraphy when you want to... and that's what the note will do -- it'll ask her how she feels!" She smiles affectionately at her brother, "And if you want, we can include a bit asking her to forgive you for... for not being good with words or feelings. That's truthful... and hopefully that'll show her what you're really trying to say -- but are too shy to ask!" She chuckles softly, then lays her head down on Dimitri's chest and hugs him tightly. Her tone is quietly affectionate again, "Silly Mitya... all this worrying, and you didn't even think to ask me for help? Tsk... don't do this to yourself again!"
Dimitri nods, "It's because... I didn't think there was a problem. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. So why..." he shrugs, wrapping his arms about Alex, "-make one hurt even worse?"
Alex smiles quietly, "You should give her a chance first, Mitya... before you just write her off."
Dimitri slowly closes his eyes, nodding quietly. "Probably. I've never been good at this sort of discussion, Alex." His paw loops to gently stroke his sister's pretty ear, a slow and light massage. "Or knowing how to deal any with lady fair."
Alex smiles, leaning comfortably into her brother, "Silly Mitya... aren't we a team? Don't I come to you with my problems? I'll admit, I'm no expert on what women like or want... but surely between the two of us we can come up with some sort of good guess, when it comes to someone practical and smart like Natasha?"
Dimitri nods. "Practical and smart?" He chuffs a short breath. "Then what's she doing looking at me."
Alex snorts amusedly, then adds, "She's noticing a brave, handsome, and clever fox, you doofus!" She giggles -- then bounces cheerfully off Dimitri and the bunk to fetch pen and paper, "C'mon! Let's get it written now -- while we have time to think about it and so you can get it right!"
Dimitri softly growls, "Brave. Right. Not even enough courage to write a simple letter." He tries to hugs Alex then, only to watch her escape to the dreaded pens. Sitting up, he rubs the back of his neck. "You speak, I'll write."
Alex grins cheerfully at Dimitri, "Silly, it has to be your voice -- what would you say?" She thinks, her head tilted, then nods, "Like we were talking about... remember? About asking her if she liked the little holly sprig at Solstice Dance? and then ask politely if she'd like any more? Oh! and don't forget to mention that you're not good at words and emotions but um... hmm, how to say this... not good at words and emotions, but you're hoping she'll forgive any awkwardness on your part-" she claps her hands suddenly, elated, "That's it! Say that you're just a working fur, like you always say -- but that even though you're not good at words or emotions you hope she'll read this with kindness?" She bounces happily on her toes, excited.
Dimitri crosses his arms, looking down. "Then. I don't know. Just say. I don't know. Hello. Did you like the holly. Sorry. Dimitri. Keep it simple. I guess. It just feels... wrong. Forced. I don't know."
Alex smiles, setting pen and paper on Dimitri's lap, then taking his paws in her own, trying to get him to unfold his arms, "Mitya... it won't be forced. Write what I suggested, if it sounds right to you... don't you want her to look at your words with kindness?"
Dimitri looks down, "So what should I write?"
Alex settles next to Dimitri, thinking, "Okay. First, how about asking her if she liked the holly at Solstice... hmm, no. Let's put the bit about the kindness first... say that you're sorry but you're not good with words or emotions, but you're trying your best and hope she'll view your writing with kindness? Then we'll put the bit about if she liked the holly, right, and if she'd like any more?" She smiles encouragingly at her brother, gently running a comforting paw down his ruffled back fur, "It's easy, Mitya, we'll get it right... you'll see!"
Dimitri looks down at the parchment and paper, his shoulders brushing hers. Slowly he picks up the pen and carefully scrawls one word. "Natasha." Then he just continues, his eyes narrowed, almost resigned. "I am just a poor soldier. Words and more don't come to me. I hope you liked the holly, and wondered if there's a chance for a second bouquet. But most probably, and I'd understand, if you'd rather I stayed away, yes? Sorry. Dimitri."
Alex leans to look over her brother's arm to watch what he's writing. Her expression softens as she reads it and she looks up at his face with wistful sympathy. One paw lightly brushes his cheek in a gentle, reassuring caress, "Poor Mitya... you really do think poorly of yourself, don't you, dear?" She sighs, carefully putting the paper and pen aside, then wraps her arms as far around her brother as she can reach and hugs him very close and tightly. Her voice is determined, if also slightly muffled against his chest, "Don't worry, Mitya'schee... I'm going to keep on trying to show you the wonderful person inside you -- no matter what!"
Dimitri shrugs quietly. "Carroll's always been favorite, you're our most beloved and everyone smiles with Horatio. I can only be who I am, and that's very simple, and I don't play noble well, you know that." But he softens at Alex's touch, wrapping her up in his arms and just holding tight. For a long while he's quiet. Then he speaks, his head resting atop hers. "I guess. Never was able to stop you from doing anything anyways..."
Alex's small laugh is more wistful than anything else... she whispers against his fur, "You don't have to play noble, Mitya'schee... and remember, simple isn't bad or stupid. It has its own beauty, like a well-made and well-cared-for sword. You taught me that... don't forget it yourself, please?"
Dimitri gently nuzzles Alex's ears, his words soft but sure. "How can I? I got you to remind me."